I'm not an advocate of using a blog to kvetch...but I'm going to a little. But primarily to make a point, I promise. I had a meltdown last night, the result of Friday evening fatigue that hampered my ability to hold all of the things that were causing stress and anxiety. And one of the biggest things is the slow pace with which my immigration lawyer appears to be handling my husband's paperwork. We are in the stage of the process where we are being asked to submit a whole new packet of documents, including my financial documentation and the Affidavit of Support, within which I commit to supporting my husband financially until he has a) worked for 10 years in the US; b) left the US permanently or c) died. But, I digress. Essentially, this stage required some work on my part and some on my husband's, including him mailing a second set of signed documents to the US, which costs him $150 through Chronopost because the regular mail service in Niger basically doesn't work.
So what I'm saying is that, while we are busting our butts, our lawyer does not appear to be demonstrating the same kind of commitment. Despite having weeks (like the entire month of January) to pull together our packet while the two of us were getting our stuff together, the packet still didn't go out until yesterday. Very frustrating. In the grand scheme of things, a few weeks is nothing, but for a couple who has been separated for THREE YEARS now, any delay just starts to feel cruel.
Which leads me to the meltdown and the point of this post. Last night I was driving home from work, mulling over this frustrating delay, the implications this may have for the planning of our US wedding, the extra contract work I have to do this weekend, and that I have to do every weekend, to pay for the lawyer who is not prioritizing us and the cost of bringing my husband to the US, and passed by an improvised valentine's day flower display set up at the corner of a gas station parking lot. Little bouquets of flowers with white plastic wrap festooned with hearts. Not the type of valentine's gift I go for. But no matter, it was just the push I needed to break down sobbing. Because, on top of all of this anxiety, the ultimate implication is that, on Valentine's day, a holiday that I don't put much stock in regardless of my marital status, or even just on an ordinary Friday night when I'm exhausted from a long week, I don't have the luxury of going home to a spouse who loves me and will listen to me talk about my day or will just relax with me or pour me a glass of wine or give me the loving affection that I need to forget all of the stress and fatigue.
And I am so incredibly tired of not having that luxury. I know that we don't have much longer to wait, but this is a process that wears on the psyche and soul. I also know that so many other people are separated from their loved ones for a variety of reasons, and my heart goes out to them.
So, finally, the point. If you have a spouse/partner/significant other/loved one with you (whether that's in the same living space or same city, within driving/bus/train distance), DO NOT TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED. You probably don't know how lucky you are.
Happy Valentine's Day!
So what I'm saying is that, while we are busting our butts, our lawyer does not appear to be demonstrating the same kind of commitment. Despite having weeks (like the entire month of January) to pull together our packet while the two of us were getting our stuff together, the packet still didn't go out until yesterday. Very frustrating. In the grand scheme of things, a few weeks is nothing, but for a couple who has been separated for THREE YEARS now, any delay just starts to feel cruel.
Which leads me to the meltdown and the point of this post. Last night I was driving home from work, mulling over this frustrating delay, the implications this may have for the planning of our US wedding, the extra contract work I have to do this weekend, and that I have to do every weekend, to pay for the lawyer who is not prioritizing us and the cost of bringing my husband to the US, and passed by an improvised valentine's day flower display set up at the corner of a gas station parking lot. Little bouquets of flowers with white plastic wrap festooned with hearts. Not the type of valentine's gift I go for. But no matter, it was just the push I needed to break down sobbing. Because, on top of all of this anxiety, the ultimate implication is that, on Valentine's day, a holiday that I don't put much stock in regardless of my marital status, or even just on an ordinary Friday night when I'm exhausted from a long week, I don't have the luxury of going home to a spouse who loves me and will listen to me talk about my day or will just relax with me or pour me a glass of wine or give me the loving affection that I need to forget all of the stress and fatigue.
And I am so incredibly tired of not having that luxury. I know that we don't have much longer to wait, but this is a process that wears on the psyche and soul. I also know that so many other people are separated from their loved ones for a variety of reasons, and my heart goes out to them.
So, finally, the point. If you have a spouse/partner/significant other/loved one with you (whether that's in the same living space or same city, within driving/bus/train distance), DO NOT TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED. You probably don't know how lucky you are.
Happy Valentine's Day!
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