When Lynn Johnson and I started OutLook last year, we wanted to launch the company with a long-term project, one that we felt passionate about. We had both been reading articles about the building of LGBT Senior Housing communities in the Bay Area and beyond, and were fascinated by the fact that the people who would potentially live in such communities are members of the first openly gay generation in the United States. We both feel a profound respect and admiration for these community elders, and also a desire to hear their stories, to learn from their experiences.
So we decided that OutLook's inaugural project would be built around the personal histories of Bay Area LGBT seniors. Lynn and I devised a short "prologue" piece, both as a way of developing our collaborative process, but also as a means of exploring our interest LGBT seniors--asking ourselves "why do we care?"...we performed this piece for an invited audience in November 2007. In January 2008, OutLook established our first community partnership with New Leaf Outreach to Elders (www.newleafservices.org/services.htm).
In the past week, we've finally had the chance to begin connecting directly with LGBT Seniors. We've been waiting for this opportunity for so long, speculating about what it would be like...last Friday we attended the Lavender Seniors of the East Bay monthly lunch. It was the day after the California Supreme Court's historic decision in support of same-sex marriage. One woman got up at lunch and made a toast; another person said "I didn't think I'd see this in my lifetime"...I felt so honored to be there, and moved to think that this is a moment that they have been waiting for for decades. It's because of them and people like them that this has happened.
This past Friday Lynn and I facilitated our first OutLook "Speak Out" at New Leaf. The goal was to begin meeting local LGBT seniors, to hear more about what issues and themes are important to them, and begin gathering little pieces of their histories. We performed a staged reading version of our prologue piece: I have to say that I was terrified to perform a piece that explored how I feel about aging and old people in front of a group of...old people. And it was definitely humbling--they didn't hold back in their critique, but as scary as it was, I was grateful for their honesty. And their stories were incredible--I am so excited to get to know them better, and to meet more and more people and hear their stories, and honor them by creating this piece.
But I think ultimately the lesson learned, or reinforced, by the Speak Out is that, when working with a community of people different from you (in this case, separated by age), you have to come to them with humility, curiosity, transparency, and integrity. That is how connection across social barriers, and thus true dialogue, happens. As one woman left, she said "Thank you. I really felt comfortable sharing my story here." Engaging in a process without pre-conceived notions of what it will become because it must continue to change and adapt to fit the needs of its participants and contributors is critical. Entering into a space with people different from you who may suspect your motives because they have been mis-represented, spoken for, or discounted in the past, without imposing an agenda on them is scary, but necessary. I consider myself lucky to be part of this ongoing challenge.
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